With a thousand lies, and a good disguise, hit them right between the eyes...

 

J'en viens parfois à me demander si c'est moi que tu soutiens, ou mon ombre. On s'en fout. Honnêtement. =)
Maintenant que je suis vraiment sûre, mais vraiment sûre, pas cette espèce de fausse certitude que l'on déduit des actes, je me sens mieux. C'est une petite lueur d'espoir à laquelle je me raccroche en attendant.

Le seul problème, c'est que je ne sais pas ce que j'attends.
Alors je compte sur toi. Sur vous. Peut-être trop.
Mais vous voir sourire. Vous sentir. Vous regarder. Ça suffit.

Parce qu'au final, tu disparaîtras comme tu es apparu, avec fracas (ou pas). Tu es présent pour moi, mais je n'en vois pas la raison. Tu es bien entouré, tu n'as pas besoin de moi...
Je me sens comme une étrangère, bien que tu fasses tout pour me prouver le contraire.
Aurais-tu pitié ?
Ou t'inspirerais-je ?

Toi, tu m'inspires, un peu. Pas énormément, à vrai dire. Moins que ce que j'aurais pensé. Peut-être parce que je répugne à coucher sur le papier nos moments de sourire. Ou parce que je n'en ai pas pleinement conscience. C'est flou.
Naïvement, je me demande comment j'ai pu me passer de toi durant ces années.
Je ne devais pas en avoir besoin.

Un sourire terrible se dessine sur mes lèvres lorsque je pense à toi. Tu as une odeur douce. Tu as des mains joueuses. Tu as des yeux dans lesquels j'ai plaisir à plonger. Je ne dis rien que je n'ai déjà dit.

Aujourd'hui était une belle journée. Ces heures de sport m'ont parues faciles à vivre, parce que je savais. Et parce que je me permettais. Et parce que j'accepte.
M'assoir avec toi, sur le banc, reposer ma tête sur tes jambes ou ton épaule, m'assoir sur le sol, avec vous, te taquiner comme à mon habitude.
La voir mettre sa raquette derrière ta tête, sans contexte, et dire « Si t'en mets deux, ça fait Mickey ». Surprendre ses regards à moitié dévoilés, sans que je ne veuille m'y attarder.

http://madness.of.love.cowblog.fr/images/Sunlightbyistarpleyks300.jpgYou're my last sunlight.

Mots doux...

Leave your word !

Par sa le Mercredi 20 novembre 2024
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