Well you can't get what you want
But you can get me...
But you can get me...
I feel like I'm in love. I'm losing track of myself. I don't know anymore who I am and what I really want. I'm losing myself, I'm drowning and feel so helpless. I need someone to keep me alive, "really" alive. Tears are coming up. I need to bury them. I need to write to someone who don't know me at all. I can't write to you.
I feel like I'm in love. Doubts and pain. I'm trying not to think about him. To forget how it was to feel incredibly great. To forgive him for being such an asshole (no other word). But that's not the point. The point is, I feel like I'm in love. But I don't know if I really am. I feel this characteristic hole in the heart, the absolute need to hug him and smell him. I miss him so much it hurts.
I feel like I'm in love. But I don't want to. I know how much it can hurt me, I know how hard I can be hit, how broken I will be after everything. He won't return me any favour, he doesn't like me as a friend, let's not say a lover. He is everything I want, everything I lust for, everything perfect for me.
He is everything that's wrong in my current life.
Je ne sais pas d'où ça sort, je sais de qui je parle, je sais de quand ça date (septembre 2011). C'est déjà pas mal, non ?
J'avais envie de le poster. Un peu comme pour me prouver que je suis capable.
N., you were so incredible to me. Maybe you still are, leaving a trace in my heart. I have no right to say it, but I miss you. I miss you so much, your smell, the tickle in my heart when I see you, the features of your face, your laugh and your guitar and your voice, your concern about me, I miss you so so so so so much. And when I think of everything we shared, it seems to be so perfect that I can't accept the fact it's over. We were over even before we started to be something consistant. You cannot not miss our moments. Please, you do not.
But it's very boring for you so I stop now.
Hum... what's say it ? I want a smile in your face ! & I hope that he don"t miss yours moments, because memory it's all in life & love.